So, Thea and I had our Valentines Day on Sunday night at a local restaurant and we spent quite a bit of our evening taking about our adoption. It wasn't the whole night, but we did spend a bit of time talking about it. It was a little surreal - we're sitting there having deep philosophical discussions while the couple next to us talked at length about computer roll playing games. Really, that happened. To each his own.
Thea and I have both talked, off an on, about what it will be like to raise a child who is a minority. After a lot of time thinking about it, I still don't have my head wrapped around it. I guess it will be a work in progress - from today till the day our adopted child is an adult. Do we raise him/her as if they were just like our blonde hair blue eye Caucasian son? Do we try to prepare him/her to deal with racism - as if we're remotely qualified to do so... It's a tough question.
I think Thea made a really interesting point - when racism enters his/her life, we won't be able to relate. Neither father nor mother will be able to hold that child and look them in the eye and say "I've been there" or "I know what you are going through".
Regardless of how we end up dealing with this, I know for a fact that this process is going to be an amazing opportunity for me to grow as a person, for us to grow as husband and wife and for us to grow as a family. If (for example) Rhys decides to adopt an Ethiopian child later in life he will have a far better foundation to work from than Thea or I. Although he won't be able to tell his son/daughter "I've been there" when they experience racism, he will be able to relate better than his parents -- he will be able to say "I know what your going through".
I think this process is going to make us all better people.
No comments:
Post a Comment